Understanding Infant Cries: A Caregiver’s Guide

Understanding why Infants Cry

Infants cry to communicate a need. The sound, intensity and pitch of the cry vary depending on the need of the child. A cry related to a perceived existential thread, such as hunger or sudden pain, sounds different form a cry signaling fatigue. Caregivers can differentiate between the cries and respond to meet the infant’s need.

The reasons infants cry

Hunger: A hunger cry usually starts as a whimper and quickly escalates to an intense cry. Most infants will settle as soon as they are fed. Other infants have trouble settling if they have to wait for their milk. It is best to be prepared for a child’s bottle feeding by having the bottles prepared ahead of time.
Pain: Some babies will experience gas pains after drinking a bottle. Gas can also develop after intense crying. The cry related to pain is intense. Teething can also be painful or uncomfortable for children.
Fatigue: The cry related to fatigue typically starts as a whimper and can escalate to an intense cry.
Discomfort: This cry can vary between whimper to intense. Infant may feel discomfort due to external temperature, clothing, teething, minor illness, etc.
Changing states of wake or sleep: Some children feel vulnerable during the sleep to wake transition and vice versa. Sleepy children feel a sense of alertness when they are picked up quickly, causing them to cry. Young infants seem to prefer a horizontal position after sleep.
Sudden change of position: Moving infants too quickly can cause their equilibrium to become unbalanced.
Overstimulation: An infant nervous system is still developing. Excessive sensory stimulation can result in overstimulation which the infant expresses with crying.
Discharge energy: Sometimes the child uses crying to discharge excess energy. This cry can be intense and often the child will fall asleep suddenly.
stranger anxiety / separation anxiety: With the emergence of object permanence, infants often show a preference in caregivers, and anxiety with unfamiliar adults.

Responding to Crying Infants in Group Childcare

In group childcare settings it is not uncommon to have multiple infants who are crying at the same time. When we are responding to crying infants in these situations, we have to determine in what order to provide care.

In the previous lesson, we looked at the various reasons infants may cry. When there are multiple children crying at the same time, first we must determine the probable reason for the individual infant’s distress. Then, we have to figure out a plan to care for multiple crying children at the same time.

Children crying due to sudden pain from an injury need to be attended first.
Next, children who are hungry or tired need the teacher’s help. If there are hungry children and sleepy children, one solution is to place the tired child in a crib while sitting next to that crib and feeding the hungry child. To an infant, hunger feels like an existential thread. An infant does not know that there is a supply of milk available. They are unable to delay gratification. They need to eat NOW.
If there are multiple children who need to receive a bottle, feed the child who drinks the bottle quickly and then feed the child who typically takes a bit longer.
When multiple children cry, teachers have to multitask. Feeding a child while sitting on the floor next to a crying child may not be an ideal feeding experience for the child drinking a bottle, but leaving a crying child alone is less ideal.
Once the hungry children are fed and the tired children are resting in a crib, we can tend to children who are crying for other reasons.
Separation anxiety only occurs during morning drop off and it is best to make sure one teacher is available to support the child. Sometimes children form strong attachments to one teacher, resulting in separation anxiety every time that teacher has to leave the room. The best strategy is good co teacher communication to ensure another teacher is available to provide support.

When Children Cry Without Obvious Reason

Sometimes children cry, and we don’t know why. All needs are met, and teachers made sure that the child is not in obvious discomfort or pain.

Is the environment too stimulating? Group childcare is a busy and noisy place. Evaluate the space. Are there any changes that teacher can make, such as lower volume on music, go outside, or can child be moved to a quieter area? An infant’s nervous system is still immature and cannot process stimuli easily.
Is the child releasing excess energy? Humans have unconscious methods of moving, integrating or discharging energy. Examples are sighing, yawning, changing breathing patterns, physical movements, vocalizations. A crying infant may be using his/her voice to discharge excess energy.
What’s the Vibe? Children can feel the energy of a space. When there is disharmony, children will feel that.

Predicting the Children’s Needs

Knowing and tracking the children’s schedules can prevent a situation with multiple children crying due to unmet needs. If your daily schedule indicates that a child will need to nap soon, teachers can place that child into a crib to allow the child to rest or sleep. If three children will need to drink a bottle at the same time, the teachers can plan ahead by having all bottles prepared and possibly start feeding one child 5 minutes early. Predicting and preparing can help teachers and children move through teary moments successfully. Frazzled teachers will add unnecessary energy to the overstimulation of multiple children crying.

White boards are a great tool for tracking anticipated times for feeding, napping and diapering.

Staying Calm

Multiple children crying creates an overstimulating environment. The teacher’s goal is to move through this uncomfortable energy calmly and confidently, caring for the children’s needs and reassuring children that all is well. A teacher who is able to maintain inner peace in a hectic moment will restore calm much faster than a frazzled teacher who hurries form child to child.

Strategies for Staying Calm

Sit with the children and either sing or hum in a quiet, slow and soothing voice. This has a ripple effect, calming everyone present starting with the teacher and the child in his/her arms. The calm energy emanating from the teacher can be felt, the sound of the voice is soothing.

Focus on the breath. Breathe in slowly, breathe out even slower.

Move mindfully and intentionally. Moving faster is not going to dissolve the situation faster. Multiple children crying is overstimulating. The goal is to reduce this energy, not add to it.

After the Storm has Passed

Once all children are settled, take a micro self-care moment to fill your cup.

Cleansing Breath: Inhale deeply and exhale through your mouth, as in a sigh
Ground your Energy: Focus on the soles of your feet and feel the ground beneath you. See the stress you just experienced leave your body through your feet. Use your breath to exhale stress through your feet into the ground
Shake it off: If safe to do so, shake your body vertically with soft knees, flick your hands toward the ground. You’re shaking off unwanted energy
Brush it off: If you’re not comfortable with shaking it off, try brushing it off. Brush your hands down both arms toward opposite hand, down and across body, down legs. Finish by flicking hands downward. You’re brushing off unwanted energy
Cleanse with Water: Drink some water and see it cleansing your energy
Use your Personal Go To Self-Care Tool: Do whatever fills your cup that works for you

Supporting Crying Children’s Emotional Development

Crying is the infant’s tool to communicate a need. The caregiver’s response to the infant’s crying has a direct effect on the infant’s emotional development.

Meeting a child’s needs builds a trusting infant-caregiver relationship. Infants need a trusting relationship with caregivers to feel safe in their world.

“You’re Ok” or “I Am Ok”

Sometimes, an overwhelmed caregiver may say “You’re ok” to a crying infant. But the child is not ok, that’s why they are crying. I feel that many infant caregivers are speaking to themselves when they respond, “you’re ok” to a crying child. Caring for infants can be overwhelming, especially with multiple children. But it is never ok to dismiss a child’s emotions or need.

Perhaps the overwhelmed infant caregiver could say “I’m ok” instead. Pause, breathe, and say “I’m ok. I feel very overwhelmed right now, but I know that I can calmly help the children navigate their moment of need. Once the children’s needs are met, I can take a moment for myself.”

Validating the Child’s Experience

When a child is crying and we do not know why, we can simply state, “I see that you are crying. Help me understand what is happening.” When we think we know why the child is crying, teachers could say, “I see that you’re crying. Are you frustrated because you can’t reach this toy?”

Here are some suggestions as to how to respond to a crying infant:

“Are you ok?”
“I hear you.”
“I see you.”
“I see that you are crying. Are you getting hungry/sleepy?”
“I see that you are crying. I don’t know why you’re crying. Let’s figure it out together.”
“You played hard this morning. Are you getting sleepy?”

Most importantly, teachers must respond to a crying child and let children know that are seen and heard. A crying child should not be ignored and should never be treated as an inconvenience. The teacher might not be able to help right away, but the child needs to know that a trusted adult is available and emphasizes with them.